Christian Friendship: The People You Should And Shouldn't Be Friends With
Friends are a good thing. When we have the right friends, those who love God and love His Word, we find for ourselves a treasure that is very precious. When we have the wrong friends, however, we find ourselves attached to a problem that will soon eat away at us. Do you believe that? I hope you do.
Many friends
We usually think that having a lot of friends is a good thing. We think that because the Lord commanded us to go and preach the Gospel to every person, we should make as many friends as we can. "God is love," we say, "so I should be loving too." While that's right, there are limits to how we should love and we are called to be wise in our interactions with the world.
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While it's good for us to be warm and welcoming to people, there are times when making close friendships should not be an option; there are certain kinds of people that we shouldn't yoke ourselves with.
Certain translations of Proverbs 18:24 tell us that "a man of too many friends comes to ruin" (see NASB). Whoa. We normally think that having many friends is good, but the Bible is warning us here. If we choose the wrong people to be our friends, people who take our focus off God, that's going to be a problem.
Proverbs 12:26 instructs us, "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray."
"Is that even Christ-like?"
Perhaps you might think that this is not Christ-like. "Jesus never drove anyone away," some might reason. Well, He did not cast out anyone that the Father gave to Him (John 6:37), but He didn't entrust Himself to everybody either (see John 2:23-25).
Jesus specifically chose the people He walked with and even among His own disciples, there was an inner circle He shared select moments with away from the others, such as the Transfiguration.
We read often that many people wanted to follow Him, but before they could they needed to face the reality that following Him required much. Luke 9:57-62 gives us an example of that. Others He simply told to go back to their own villages.
We too should choose who we allow to share our lives with. First Corinthians 15:33 gives us a timeless piece of wisdom in a few words:
"Do not be deceived: 'Bad company corrupts good morals.'"
Wise decisions
So now you might be asking what kind of person you should befriend. Dear reader, let God's Word tell you who to befriend; who to listen to; and who to allow to give insight, encouragement, instruction, and influence in your life. Here are some verses to consider, for starters:
- Choose Godly people
"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers." (Psalm 1:1)
- Choose someone who truly loves Christ
"I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy shortly to you, that I also may be of good comfort when I get word concerning you. For I have no one like-minded, who will sincerely care for your welfare. For all seek their own, not the things of Christ Jesus. But you know of his proven worth, that as a son with a father, he has served with me in the gospel." (Philippians 2:19-22)
- Don't use outward traits as your guide
"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)
Avoid these kinds of people:
"Know this: In the last days perilous times will come. Men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, slanderers, unrestrained, fierce, despisers of those who are good, traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God, having a form of godliness, but denying its power. Turn away from such people." (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
"Cast out the scorner, and contention will go out; yes, strife and reproach will cease." (Proverbs 22:10)
"Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man you will not go, lest you learn his ways and get a snare to your soul." (Proverbs 22:24-25)
