How to Overcome a Divisive Divorce
Q: Our marriage finally ended after 18 years. The sad thing is, our two children (both teenagers) are taking opposite sides, with our son sticking up for his dad and our daughter taking my side. I hate this. Is there any way to overcome it? - Mrs. P.H.
A: Divorce is a reality today - but let me be candid: It wasn't part of God's original plan for us, nor does He want us to go down that road if it possibly can be avoided. The Bible even says, "'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God" (Malachi 2:16).
That doesn't mean it's an unforgivable sin (for it isn't), nor does it mean God can't bring healing afterward (for He can). But it does mean we shouldn't take it casually, or enter into marriage thinking that if things get rocky, we can always bail out. God takes marriage very seriously - and so should we. As a footnote, I wish churches did more to help young people understand the responsibilities and joys of marriage.
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Why does God say He hates divorce? One reason is because He knows the heartache it causes - and He doesn't want that to happen to us. Divorce is never easy (no matter what some say), and when two people reject each other and don't want anything more to do with each other, the results are always hard. And when children are involved, the situation is even harder.
What can you do? First, turn to Christ for the wisdom and grace you need, and commit your life and your future to Him. Then avoid constantly talking about the past with your children; that only makes things worse. In addition, trust God to work in your son's heart; he's still young, and in time he'll hopefully move beyond this.
