Parents, You Are Not Bad for Sending Your Kids to Private School
Though it's an article from the summer of 2013, Slate's "If You Send Your Kid to Private School, You are a Bad Person" has picked up steam again. In this almost unbelievable article, Allison Benedikt – while admitting she's judgmental – says, "There are a lot of reasons why bad people send their kids to private school."
Yes, bad people send their kids to private school.
Since her argument is premised on the assumption that taking your kids out of public school makes or keeps the public school bad, one can assume that Benedikt would equally call homeschoolers bad. Perhaps worse.
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She writes:
"Yes, some do it for prestige or out of loyalty to a long-standing family tradition or because they want their children to eventually work at Slate. But many others go private for religious reasons, or because their kids have behavioral or learning issues, or simply because the public school in their district is not so hot. None of these are compelling reasons. Or, rather, the compelling ones (behavioral or learning issues, wanting a not-subpar school for your child) are exactly why we should all opt in, not out."
A lot to digest here, for sure. But first, did you notice that Benedikt specifically tossed away "religious reasons" as non-compelling? Who gives her – or anyone – the right to declare what is a compelling reason for any particular parent to make a particular educational decision for their particular child? Are we the land of the free, or the land of a collective herd, required to submit to an identical philosophy?
I am not ashamed to admit that one of my top reasons for not sending my kids to public school is a religious reason. By no means is this my only reason, but I have the right as my daughter's mother to decide that I want her to have a more religious education that the public schools offer. I have the right to disagree with the public school system's general lack of regard for God, its all-too-often taking up of the bully pulpit against children who speak up for Biblical creation or the Gospel, and its acceptance and advocacy for organizations like Planned Parenthood, who have been caught recommending BDSM sex practices to school-age children. (That last reason isn't even all that religious, mind you. It's just common sense.)
And trust me – just like countless other private school and homeschool parents – I am all for the appropriate socialization of my children. My husband and I will continue to thoughtfully select extracurricular activities for them where they will learn from others and interact with their peers. But excuse me if I don't think that's successfully achieved in today's public school system.
Before I got married, I was a substitute teacher in two different school districts. My favorite class was a 2nd grade class, and I will always remember and love those children. But that experience solidified my opinion that public school was not the place I wanted to put my own kids. I saw behavioral, emotional, and educational issues that there was no way for one teacher to solve.
My husband attended one of the best public school districts in our state – one that people move to place their children in – and he is in full agreement with our choice to not expose our children to some of the things he was exposed to. That's not a condemnation or a statement of disapproval for parents who do choose to put their kids in public school. My husband is an absolutely amazing human being (one of the reasons I married him!), and he attended public schools for his entire education. However, I think his amazing character is due far more to the teaching and interaction given him by his parents, outside of school.
Parents are indeed key to successful children. And of course, as Christians, we believe that our faith in the Savior directs us as parents and provides us with the keys we need to raise them properly. Benedikt is flat out wrong to rely on parents' involvement in the public school system for the eventual success of our nation's children. Instead, it is the involvement of parents in their children's personal lives – not a particular system – that makes the difference.
Some parents will choose to be involved in their children's public school. Some will choose to be involved in their children's private school. And some will choose to be involved as their children's homeschool teacher. All are valid choices.
All are good parents.
Instead of dictating to parents – as Benedikt does – exactly what choice every, single parent in America ought to make, we ought to make the case for our own personally approved educational choice, and then let each parent make their own decision without shame and condemnation.
The school you choose does not determine whether or not you are a good parent. The level of personal involvement you have with your child just may.
