Megachurch pastor warns Christian wives not to withhold sex from husbands as it’s unbiblical
With the approval of her co-pastor husband, Reginald Steele of Kingdom Church in Phoenix, Arizona, Kelley Steele warned Christian women in her congregation to avoid withholding sex from their husbands because it’s unbiblical and they could push their husbands in the arms of “some trick, some ho, some homewrecker that will give him exactly what he needs with no rules.”
Speaking in a Sunday morning service last month while sharing the pulpit with her husband, Kelley Steele cited several scriptures on the wisdom of women submitting their husbands.
“I fear the Lord first, so it makes submission easy. If you don’t like what he’s doing, you still have to submit. If you don’t feel like submitting, you have to do it to honor Jesus,” Kelley Steel told her congregation.
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“What if he’s not acting right. What if he’s not following God? This is your husband now, what if he’s not living for Jesus. Let me tell you what the Bible says. In 1 Peter 3:1 it says, ‘wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,’” she explained.
“If you’re married and your husband doesn’t serve God or is not a man of God, I promise you, if you begin to live a life that is Christ driven, Christ first, you begin, to pray to God, live what you read and actually regurgitate it and apply it to your life. Change your old way, become a new creature, your husband will be affected because you are one flesh,” she added.
“He will realize, my God, something’s different about her. She’s not the same person. I can’t even make her mad anymore. She doesn’t go off and chase me with knives anymore. He can’t deny that God is real in your life, and you win by your conduct. You win by your behavior, and it’s not even you. It’s Jesus Christ in you that is winning that person.”
She then pointed to Ephesians 5:22-23 which says: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”
“If you’re out there sleeping with a husband that is not yours, leave him alone. Go find your own and submit to him,” she said.
“Preach!” her husband quipped while chuckling.
She further pointed to Ephesians 5:24 which says: “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
“This is some old school teaching but it’s Bible and it works. And I want to bring the Word of God back into the church, amen, thank you, Jesus. I’m tired of opinions and ideas, saying we’ve got to change it for the culture. … No. My Bible tells me that the Word is the same yesterday, today and forever. I’m old school here, I believe the word of God to be true and the Word says, ‘submit to our husbands.’”
Steele then took the opportunity to give practical examples to Christian women in her church about what submission looks like and she suggested that women need to take care of their husbands in the home.
“That means you’ve got to take care of your husband. You got to, I don’t know, cook dinner, clean your house, clean up. Take care of yourself. Make sure that your husband has what he needs. Make sure that, listen, I’m mad at you, but you could still get this. I’m not holding nothing hostage,” she said, pointing to the common practice of women withholding sex from their husbands.
According to SavantCare, “Sexual withholding refers to the deliberate decision of one partner to abstain from sexual intimacy within a marriage. This can manifest in various forms, including refusal of sex, avoiding physical affection, or creating barriers to sexual connection.”
Kelley Steele urged the women in her congregation not to put conditions for sex in their marriage because “there’s no points system.”
“Well, if you take out the trash, if you help me clean up, you help me with the kids you might get some tonight. No, the devil is a liar. You make yourself available for him because he will find somebody out there. Some trick, some ho,’ some homewrecker that will give him exactly what he needs with no rules,” she said.
In a particular plea to young women, Steele urged them to avoid withholding sex in marriage.
“I’m trying to help y’all, especially these young women that think, well he needs to do this for me before ... no, no, no, no,” she said.
“Listen, go ahead and get what you need and I’m gonna give you what you need and we’re gonna make this thing work because we’re a couple, we’re in covenant, we’re gonna make this thing last. We’re gonna stay together for longer than 8.2 years. I said for life. I said for better. I said for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. I’m a ride or die. I’m not going nowhere,” she said.
She also encouraged men who feel like they aren’t being treated well in their marriage to let their wives know.
“And man of God, if she’s not doing what you want her to do as a wife, let her know, you’re dirty. My house stinks. Oh Jesus,” she said smiling.
“Can I get a hot meal that’s not frozen first? Can you make a pot roast? Can you fry chicken? Can you clean collards? Come on somebody. Can you make a biscuit? These things matter. You don’t think they matter but they matter,” she declared.
“Imma tell you one thing. He might be gone early in our marriage but when he came home, I had something piping hot on the stove. And I said I had something piping hot in the bedroom, too. Amen! Praise God. I had to compete for a little bit but I ain’t competing no more,” she said as her husband laughed with approval.
“Give that man some pasta, give that man some peace, and I’ll let y’all fill in the other P,” Reginald Steele interjected.
“Somebody should have ran around the church, no I’m just playing,” he continued as the crowd appeared to bristle then relax slightly at his comments.
“The three Ps” his wife said.
“And you know what that woman needs? She needs dedication, some dollars and I’m gonna let y’all figure out the other D” the pastor said as the women shouted in approval in the church.
“Somebody scream, preach!” he said. “We’re gonna set somebody free today.”
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