In today’s fast-paced society, maintaining a healthy marriage is challenging. We live in a world of digital distractions where it is easier than ever to unplug from the relationships in our lives. Amid this culture of disruption and constant connectivity, it is more important than ever to prioritize effective communication and quality time with your spouse to build a strong and healthy marriage.

Biblical marriages prioritize God first and the marriage second. By drawing closer to Christ and to one another, couples strengthen their intimacy and trust in one another. They also set a valuable example for their children. A healthy relationship with God directly contributes to a healthy marriage, and a healthy marriage sets the tone for a healthy family. In fact, research not only shows that people in healthy marriages live longer and have less stress, but that children living in homes with stable and happily married parents experience better educational, social, and emotional outcomes, too.

Recognizing the importance of a healthy marriage and the role it plays in building a flourishing home life, it is necessary to ask: How can couples balance the busyness of life—work schedules, school schedules, church, social activities, extended family, and friends—and pave the way for a stronger marriage?

Be Intentional About Your Marriage

The answer lies in being intentional about your marriage. Intentionality begins with understanding the value of quality communication. At the end of a long day, it is easy to bury your face in your phone or slump in front of the television. However, choosing to prioritize communication intimacy with your spouse is far more rewarding as it will reduce stress and loneliness while increasing your happiness and helping you bond better with your spouse (Ecc. 4:9-12).

Here are five simple ways to get started.

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Unplug from your digital devices. Set aside time each day—whether that’s in the morning before your day kicks off or at the end of the day when winding down—to reconnect with one another. Did you know that the average American watches approximately three hours of TV and streaming content every single day? There is more time than you realize to invest in your marriage!

Establish digital boundaries. It is also crucial you and your spouse set standards for digital devices and social media. Failing to have a clear and mutual expectation for the boundaries of your relationship can set you up for disaster. What are your ground rules for posting content on social media? Is the dinner table off-limits for phones? Consider the digital components of your marriage and home and decide together what works for your marriage and what does not.  

Develop shared interests with your spouse. Being intentional with your spouse will help you build better emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy has many forms. For you and your spouse, it may be a weekend hike or playing a boardgame at home. It may be testing your teamwork in an escape room or stargazing in your backyard at night. Whatever it is that brings you together, take the time to make it happen, and use that opportunity to reconnect.

Prioritize God’s Word together. Committing yourselves, your marriage, and your family to God is essential above all else. When it comes to strengthening your marriage, this means placing God at the center of your relationship. Do you read the Bible together? How often? Whether you meditate on a verse of the day or end each night with a Bible study, make your study of God’s Word an integral part of your marriage.

Pray together—and for one another. Do you pray together? If so, how regularly? Do you pray for your spouse? If you say yes, how deliberately? Praying together builds emotional intimacy and reinforces the marriage vows you made before God. Praying for your spouse is a selfless act of love that invites God into your marriage as you earnestly seek His will for and protection over your spouse’s life.

Be Intentional About Your Family

Families enjoy many benefits in today’s technology-driven world, from educational tools for improved learning outcomes for children to the power of social media to bridge geographical gaps for long-distance relatives. However, technology can also alienate families. If left unchecked, families may wind up overly connected to their devices and disconnected from one another. In a culture dominated by game consoles, mobile phones, apps, and endless TV streamlining, how can couples create balance in their families?

Just as choosing intentionality helps to create a healthy marriage, it also helps to create a healthy family—and the same principles that apply to building a healthy marriage are reflected in building a healthy family. Let’s revisit these principles through the eyes of parenthood.

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Unplug for quality time. The first step to combatting the big disconnect is deliberate device downtime. This means setting boundaries for your children to limit their media consumption—and using that time to strengthen your family. Maybe this means the television is switched off on Saturday morning so your family can eat breakfast together and share the highlights of the week. Or perhaps you and your spouse establish a no phone rule until after dinner and use that time to cook together as a family.

Set ground rules for entertainment. When it comes to children, establishing digital boundaries is not just about rules for using social media or texting. For families, this also means determining what constitutes quality time. Perhaps you have a family of gamers, and quality time over the weekend includes everyone playing together. Or maybe your tradition is family movie night. That’s okay! The objective is for spouses to figure out what works best for their family and create healthy habits that build relationships in the home.

Place Christ at the center of your home. The most important way spouses can be intentional in their families is by putting Christ at the center of the family. Just as spouses need to spend time in the Word and in prayer together, so, too, do families—and that means more than going to church together once a week. How does your family spend time getting to know God’s Word during the week? Do you have a family Bible study? For families of older children and teens, this may include discussing how to tackle challenging issues they are facing through a biblical lens. For younger children, it may involve reading stories together that teach key biblical principles.

Pray with—and for—your children. Last, as parents, carve out time to pray with your children. Praying with your children will teach them the importance of putting God first in their lives. Praying for your children will also connect you to your spouse as you seek God’s will and protection over your children’s lives together.

Thriving Together

In a world where technology is at our fingertips 24/7, it is easy to become consumed by digital distractions. Whether it’s checking social media, responding to emails, or binge-watching the latest TV series, these distractions take away from marriages and families. Choosing to be intentional in your marriage is essential to building a strong and healthy relationship with your spouse. By deciding together when to step away from technology and how best to invest in each other, you will be empowered to dive deeper into God’s Word while enriching your prayer life.

We need strong marriages and families to set good examples in society today. The spillover effect from your intentional actions will ultimately benefit your whole family as you prioritize relationships over gadgets, drawing closer to God together. Further, the example you set in your marriage and family may become the inspiration for those around you to pursue healthy marriage and family habits, too.

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