Biden-Trump debate: 5 tips to talk to your kids about politics

Today, President Biden and President Trump will debate live on television in what may be the most-watched political moment in history. In some ways, this will mark the official beginning of the 2024 presidential election. This event gives parents and leaders an important responsibility: figuring out how to talk to youth about politics and interesting political figures.

Here are some tips I’ve learned working with students for over 40 years.

1. It is going to be uncomfortable and that’s OK

In our conversations about politics, you will have to pick sides, and this tends to be uncomfortable in our culture. Too often, as parents or leaders, we avoid issues that divide. We avoid these conversations for many reasons. This is a mistake. We fear that if we speak to current affairs, we will be considered unqualified, or worse, “politically-incorrect.” 

However, if we don't speak about the issues as parents and youth leaders, where are adolescents going to get their information? They need to know the truth and they need to hear it from people they trust.

2. Process the election (and every issue) with a diverse group of people

There is a university of learning in diverse relationships. One of the things I have tried to do with young people is to get them to process their thoughts and feelings with a broad spectrum of people and especially across generations.

Why is this important? Primarily because there is so much, we can learn from each other. It also helps reveal the truth, including inconsistencies in worldviews. Otherwise, groupthink can influence voting behavior, rather than the truth. 

3. Treat every person and their views with respect

Sometimes, even in our own homes, we will have differing viewpoints. Even so, it is important to respect each other. Sometimes you can feel like you are compromising if you give someone of a different political perspective time and energy in a conversation by listening to their views. Maybe you want to get your point across, correct them, and make a statement right after they are finished talking. We must teach young people to treat everyone with respect and to listen to the opinions of others to keep the relationship and conversation going.

I learned a valuable lesson many years ago; that I would never lose a friendship just to win an argument. I believe we can have both the argument and the relationship holding to our beliefs by respecting people. We must help our kids to respect everyone’s viewpoint, and, where applicable, it’s ok to agree to disagree. Some people have bad ideas, but it doesn’t make them bad people. 

4. Listen to young people

Every parent and youth leader must learn to listen first. When young people are given the chance to talk first, it will guide the whole conversation, and often you’ll be surprised at the sophistication of their views. You may also be surprised how they think differently than you. If you speak first, then you may not give them permission to say what they really think. 

Listening helps parents and leaders make a plan on the kind of content to include in future conversations with young people because those conversations also reveal what they’re learning from others at school or online. Many times, I have been the learner talking to young people! These conversations are what have motivated many parents and leaders to leave their own comfort zone and to engage in the political process. 

Make sure to ask simple questions in order to give teenagers the opportunity to challenge their beliefs and what they are hearing. It will help them go against the tide in support of truth, whatever the politics of the moment.

When young people are given the opportunity to talk about important political or social issues, it helps them release anxiety, confusion, and fear of not understanding or not being heard. Youth need to know that their views are important. Young people are opinionated and will process their beliefs through talking. Let them feel safe to have difficult conversations about all kinds of topics — politics, economy, sexuality, and religion. 

5. There is more to life than politics, but politics is important

I’m pretty sure most of us agree with this. And it must be said that as a democratic society, we all win in a free country, even if your party does not win the election.

But looking at the frenzy around our elections in America, it may not seem healthy that all of culture seems to stop for months to focus only on the election. Helping students see that there is more to life than politics and government will help them focus on the day-to-day implications of politics and not just who won or lost the election.

Yet, every four years, we hear the same thing, “this is the most important election of our lifetime.”

Finally

We need to teach young people that politics is a way they can make a difference in a world that worries them. Young people can make a difference, but they need to learn the truth about politics from those they can trust.  

How about this crazy idea?  Why not have a watch party for the presidential debate at your home for your kids’ friends? Then, guide them in a conversation about it.

I believe healthy political conversations can take place between parents and leaders and young people over the next few months if we apply these simple principles.