Talking to your children about race relations today

Although much work has been done to improve race relations in America, we as Christians should be the torchbearers for Christ’s love.  Discrimination in all of its ugly forms still unfortunately exists and has existed since the beginning of time.  This sin is an abomination to the Lord and in direct conflict with His commandment of “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love another.” John 13:34.

Paul, a leader of the early church, said this in response to disparities among Jews and Gentiles: "For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile — the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him." Romans 10:12.

Today's church leaders and Christian families — especially parents of tweens and teens — are navigating how to have conversations about race, discrimination, and general lack of respect for differences with their children. As believers, we must engage in thoughtful and even sometimes uncomfortable conversations that allow us to recognize ways in which we can better understand our neighbor of a different race or ethnicity.

As parents, we are responsible for teaching the next generation and pointing our girls and boys toward God's heart for justice, love, mercy, and peace for all.

Here are a few ways to begin conversations with our children about respect and loving all of God’s people:

1.  Teach them that all people are created in the image of God

Scripture tells us in Genesis 1:27 that "God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God, he created them; male and female he created them." Each of us, no matter our gender (male or female), ability, ethnicity, or race, was created by God. When teaching our children about creation, it is important for them to visually see a variety of images that depict the many different types of people God has created. From coast to coast, around the globe, there are people of varying skin tones, physical features, hair-types — and God created every single one. A simple internet search can yield photos and images that display God's beautiful creation of humanity.

2.  Teach them to listen to others of different ethnicities

A significant part of understanding another person is to take the time to listen to them. To understand people of different races, we have to stop and listen to their stories, thoughts, and experiences. But how do we do this? Often we are in environments with people of the same race. As parents, find opportunities to diversify your surroundings, what you read, and what you watch in order to listen to those of a different race. To learn more about the history and culture of other races and ethnicities, consider attending nearby heritage celebrations and find books and documentaries you can read and watch together. Additionally, as parents, we must intentionally make friends across racial lines and be willing to ask compassionate questions and listen with an open heart. Developing multi-ethnic friendships sets an example for our children to do the same.

3.  Teach them to empathize with those of a different ethnicity

When we befriend, listen, and learn from others of a different background, we may still find it challenging to understand their possible experiences with discrimination. However, we can seek to empathize with other's experiences. Galatians 6:2-3 tells us to "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." One way to help nurture our children's capacity for empathy is to pray for compassion together as a family. Compassion is the key that unlocks the door of our hearts and helps us imagine what it would be like to walk in the shoes of another person. Pray that God would lead each of you as you strive to understand others more deeply and connect in unity.  

4.  Teach them to put love into action

Once our children understand that all people are created by God, have learned to listen to others of a different background, and understand the importance of empathy, we must lead them in putting love into action. Romans 12:9-10 says, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." There are numerous ways to honor our neighbors of different races by supporting respect and reconciliation. Identify local organizations and initiatives that serve at risk communities in ways that align with your family's Christian values. Teach your children that service to others is one of the ultimate ways to show God's love and shine as a beacon of light through the darkness.

5.  Most importantly, teach them to pray and understand the scripture

Our country is suffering from a post-Christian culture.  As Tony Evans has stated:  We are enduring a spiritual and cultural pandemic but most of a spiritual pandemic.  Share scriptures like 1 Samuel 16:7, Acts 17:26 and Romans 3:23.  Jesus’ answer to injustice was to “turn the other cheek” (Matthew 5:38-40) and love your enemy (Matthew 5:43). 

By teaching our children that all people are created in God’s image and providing ways to listen, empathize, and put love into action, we are raising girls and boys of integrity. Engaging our children in conversations about sin of any kind takes time, humility, and vulnerability. Each step we take toward learning and growing in love, understanding the nature of God and His desire for His people to be reconciled as a family, is a step toward becoming a beacon of light as we share God's message of love and acceptance.