Christmas Isn't Perfect for Me but the Love of Jesus Makes Me Well
Right in the center of tinsel, twinkle lights and towering holly, I lost it. The dam opened today in my living room and waterfall tears gushed out: the house isn't clean, it looks like a second-rate Christmas, there are problems all around me, I couldn't get stuff for my husband this year, he didn't get stuff for me, we aren't near family...
Add all this to all the unsaid stuff I wouldn't admit, like — I am sad because I feel alone, I am disappointed, in some ways, with life as it is, and I wish my kids would recognize all my hard work — and I was in a full-blown pity party. Waa! Waa!
Santa isn't real. Bah-humbug!
I am all alone. Bah-humbug!
I just busted a glass jar of apple cider vinegar in the kitchen. Bah-humbug!
Jesus feels far and isn't rescuing my emotions. Bah-humbug!
Every expectation that Christmas would show-well — was busted, like little shards of an apple cider vinegar jar. Christmas can cut you if you aren't careful.
Why? Because Christmas isn't perfect. Not in my house.
Christmas is tree needles everywhere.
Christmas is family arguments because someone talked mean.
Christmas is presents wrapped up with two extra wrinkled pieces of Christmas papers.
Christmas is a longing to be somewhere else with different stuff.
Christmas is mountain-high expectations with front and center realizations.
Christmas isn't perfect, but Jesus is. He is perfect. He is love. And, I am under his love. With this, no matter what self-destructs this year — if the Christmas tree catches fire or if a stray cat wraps itself up in my tree lights if every trimming is burnt to a crisp, Jesus is still Jesus. And, Jesus still wants me.
He came for me.
He chose me.
He loves me.
Independent of how I act.
No matter how sad I feel.
No matter what a 24-hour day looks like.
Jesus remains fully intent on keeping me near.
He sustains me by the endless well of his grace.
This 24-hour tinsel-tree decorated day will pass and go, but God's love endures forever. People may offend us, but Jesus' care covers people's wrongs. Avalanches of tears show up, but in Christ's eyes, we are still beloved. Presents may disappoint, but appointed to heavenly purposes, we still remain.
Jesus does not disappoint. Never. We realize this when we actually get around to thinking of Him. His peace never lets us down.
I choose right now to allow him to carry the Holiday-load I've been shouldering. Will you?
Jesus is Jesus. The man "anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. Sent "to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind" and "to set the oppressed free..." (Lu. 4:18).
I accept all of this from all of Him, this Christmas. His love makes me well.
Jesus and His care is my best gift this season. I am so grateful.
Kelly Balarie is a popular writer and speaker. You can follow her at PurposefulFaith.com
