Relationship suffocation requires the breath of God

Your family, your friendships, your job, and your spiritual life all exist in a bubble, and each one of these air bubbles requires oxygen. Whenever you are not receiving enough oxygen, or you are stifling someone else's airflow, the suffocating effects can be agonizing. 

Extreme cases of relationship suffocation can lead to self-harm, suicide, divorce, running away from home, and even walking away from Christianity.

Rigid fundamentalism within certain Christian homes or churches can drive “the Gospel of peace” (Gal. 6:15) right out the window. When you are constantly being peppered with legalistic rules and regulations, there is no room to breathe. This joyless exercise leads to spiritual suffocation.

When spouses nitpick each other, or parents angrily micromanage their children, family members are left gasping for air. Domineering and controlling behavior leaves no room for anyone to breathe, and the heavy atmosphere makes home life very uncomfortable.

So how strong is the oxygen flow in your heart, your home, your job, and your spiritual life?

God created us with free will. When our freedom is suppressed, it becomes difficult to breathe. Entire nations are under the control of oppressive dictatorial tyrants, while many homes and religious groups in America and around the world also lack the breath of God in their midst.

Scripture instructs us: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children” (Eph. 6:4); and, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Col. 3:19); and, “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification” (Romans 14:19). Each one of these admonitions is aimed at increasing the airflow in the home.

Henry Drummond said, “The family circle is the supreme conductor of Christianity.” I addressed this issue in my 2017 CP op-ed, “5 Tips for Raising Children Who Love Jesus.”

Matthew Henry said, “Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved."

Martin Luther said, “What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in Heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the Word and faith from which the obedience and the workflow.”

This godly attitude is needed not only in the home but also on the job.

Zig Ziglar said, “People who have good relationships at home are more effective in the marketplace.” Why? Because people who are breathing well at home tend to bring their emotional and spiritual health to work with them. Your co-workers need just as much oxygen as you do, and if they are being stifled at home, you might be their only connection to the breath of God.

Who is up to such a task? The one who is receiving a full supply of spiritual oxygen from our Father in Heaven. After Jesus rose from the dead, the Lord, “breathed on His disciples and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit” (John 20:22). The key to living a joyful Christian life is the power of the Holy Spirit.  Apart from the holy influence of the breath of God, we would be powerless to live the Christian life in freedom, compassion, gentleness, and perseverance.

When parents in the home, bosses on the job, or leaders in the church become overly rigid and demanding, it sucks the air right out of the room. When parents, bosses, or church leaders fail to understand what servant leadership entails, they tend to become harsh taskmasters who operate far differently than Jesus did with His disciples. 

No one has ever given people more air to breath than the Messiah. If you want to learn how to lead effectively, study the ministry of Jesus. And if you want God’s power to lead, then ask the Lord every day to empty you of sin and fill your soul with the Holy Spirit. 

How much oxygen is in your bubble at home, on the job and in your spiritual life? If you find yourself gasping for air in any of these bubbles, simply call out to God for some fresh air. The Lord can provide the oxygen you need in order to “press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of you” (Phil. 3:12). As a believer, you were redeemed, saved, born again, justified, and forgiven on the front end of your relationship with God.

And if your soul has not yet been converted, then it is time for you to consider these key questions:

Do I want God’s spiritual oxygen in my soul?
Do I desire to have my sins forgiven?
Am I willing to trust in Christ alone for salvation?
Am I willing to follow Jesus every day?
Do I want to spend eternity in Heaven?
Am I willing to serve my Lord, my family, and my co-workers in a spirit of gentleness, love, and compassion?

If your answer to these questions is “Yes,” then I highly encourage you to express your desire right now to the One who created you as body, soul, and spirit (1 These. 5:23). Here are some words you may find helpful:

“Lord God, I desperately need oxygen in my life and I desperately need your love in my soul. Forgive my sins, including those times I have been harsh, rigid and controlling. Help me Lord to be gentle with others in my home, my church, my friendships and my job. Fill my soul with your love and compassion. And please breath on me Lord Jesus and fill me with the Holy Spirit. Wash away my sins with your blood Jesus, and help me to live everyday of a deep awareness and appreciation of the suffering you endured on the cross for my salvation. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen."