What a mom of a trans-identifying child needs the Church to know

I am the parent of a trans-identifying child.

At the age of 23, she chose to abandon her given name, Hana Moriah, which she now says is a “dead name,” along with everything from her upbringing, her family and her past. The Huffington Post recently profiled my daughter, whom I love and adore, and that was a hit piece against me, referring to me as an anti-trans influencer.

So many thoughts swirled through me as I read it and it’s important that a few things be said here, not only for the sake of truth and my daughter.

The journalist, Chris Mathias, who wrote from Hana’s perspective, never checked on his timelines or verified the facts within the article, released on June 30, 2023. It was subjective, filled with mistakes, outright lies and misleading stories. I think even The Washington Post fact-checkers would give him four Pinocchios on this one.

Mathias’ self-proclaimed claim-to-fame is a position he takes portraying that anyone who professes Christian faith and loves their country, especially the United States, is a fascist. He has that written at the top of his Twitter profile. In his upcoming book, he says he intends to expose the “white nationalist and far-right movements in the United States.” My main beef with him is how he used a person who is clearly suffering from mental illness as a scapegoat to push a transgender narrative. He hardly even knows my daughter.

In the interest of putting the truth on the record, here is what happened to my family, and I share it in hopes that other parents who are currently navigating similar dynamics in their families —  and I’ve met so many across the country who are facing these issues — will be encouraged.

I endured a toxic marriage that was shattered by my now ex-husband’s pornography addiction. And after years of struggling to make it work, as I thought I had to as a committed Christian, we divorced. In the years that followed, I made poor decisions and brought men into my children’s lives that caused lifelong, traumatic scars (including a second divorce) all before my daughter was 10. I had no idea how much trauma that caused her. As a woman, wife, and mother, I am not proud of my past.

At the time, I did what I thought was best as I struggled through life, missing the signs of how my daughter was heading down a self-destructive path.

Indeed, I felt like the worst mother in the world for leaving my child in an adolescent psychiatric hospital when she was a teenager, where she would be diagnosed as bipolar with schizophrenic tendencies. Because of the gaps in my understanding of the scope of the trauma that she endured as a child, nothing was concrete, and nothing was done. I missed the mark because I could not even see the target. Who, today, can identify? I presume many can.

My daughter was hurt and is still hurting, suffering the after-effects of severe trauma.

The Body of Christ must coalesce around those parents out there, like me, who feel isolated and alone. Please support us in whatever way you can, however you can, as we struggle against so many forces we can barely even understand.

Parents like me continue to experience the pain which often strikes late at night while I’m sitting in bed, thinking about what so many children have done to their minds and bodies and the enablers, not least of which is The Huffington Post, have helped facilitate their ongoing destruction. Losing a child in this way is excruciatingly painful; it’s like a death except your child is still out there, denying every piece of their existence that is connected to you, which is strange given that they would not be alive but for your body.

These young people are created by a loving God, but they are being attacked by the enemy of their souls and succumbing to grave darkness. I sometimes ask the Lord: “What am I supposed to learn in this?”

To be honest, I am not entirely sure what I am Iearning as this is all so disorienting. But with each passing day (and I don’t say this to sound trite or to give a pat, Sunday-school answer as though everything is fine) I am encountering God’s faithfulness. He is ever-present and he has not abandoned me nor my daughter.

For He loves her more than I ever could.