Dying to Meet Him: Finally Coming Home
Sara Gabrielle Devenish went home to Jesus sometime in the early morning hours today. It was in her sleep and it was peaceful.
Sara Gabrielle Devenish went home to Jesus sometime in the early morning hours today. It was in her sleep and it was peaceful.
There's been tension in my family starting 17 years ago, with this horrible disease named anorexia. It's unpredictable, sneaky, malicious, deceptive. I know the pain and hurt it's caused emotionally and psychologically, and I know I can never erase those scars.
Where do you want me to go God? Where do you want me to be? I long to rejoice at the feet of thee, to bask in thy radiance.
Lately I've seemed very mopey and less likely to turn to God but to others in my seemingly uncontrollable thoughts. A few praises, first: I can type and read and focus at certain periods of the day, I have a lot of friends praying for me, and I've gotten back in touch with old time friends.
The past few weeks have been fraught with more signs and symptoms of declining health, plus a few seizures. Some of the worst losses are my motor skills, my ability to read and write and problems actually focusing.
Lately, I've been having the worst trouble sleeping. It was frustrating at first, but then I remembered something my mom told me a while back. Every time she had a night of not sleeping well, each time she would wake up, she would pray for someone, and then she could return to sleep.
I've been discovering what King Solomon felt like when he wrote Ecclesiastes. Meaningless, meaningless, everything (on earth) is meaningless.
Despite all the praise I've been receiving for being so strong, I really am weak. The only strength I have right now is through my Savior, as days like today, my human body is just a shaky, weeping mess.
"It's a role reversal. You're teaching me. You're teaching me ... how to die."
Sundays are usually hard for me. No nurses or visitors come and my family is usually away. On a day that used to be full of Christian fellowship, I'm often left feeling lonely.