Ex-porn star encourages Christians to forgive themselves after sinning: 'Lessons can be learned'
An ex-porn star who converted to Christianity and her pastor husband shared advice on how Christians can move forward after they sin by not wallowing in self-pity and doubt but learning how to forgive themselves for their past mistakes.
Brittni De La Mora, an author and speaker who previously worked in the porn industry, and her husband, Rev. Richard De La Mora, founder of “Love Always Ministres,” spoke on the latest episode of their “Let’s Talk Purity” podcast about how Christians can “get back up” when they “sin and fall.”
The couple, who are expecting a baby in March, warned their audience about a pattern that commonly occurs when Christians sin.
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In some cases, after Christians make a sinful mistake, they will ask God for forgiveness but will not believe that they are truly forgiven by God. They stressed that some may not forgive themselves for their mistakes because they gave in to “thoughts that come from the devil.”
The duo contends Satan “loves” to condemn Christians and is “good” at making Christians repetitively think about their sinful mistakes, even when Christians seek God’s forgiveness.
“The enemy loves when Christians make a mistake. … He will tempt you, and then he is the same devil that will ridicule you after you’ve fallen for that temptation,” Brittni De La Mora said. “When you have fallen, you can repent, and you can get back up again and you can have a brand new fresh start.”
“We never have to worry about the fact that we are not in right standing with God because the moment that we make a mistake, we can turn from our sin. We can ask for God’s forgiveness, and just like that we are forgiven,” she added.
In previous episodes of the podcast, Brittni De La Mora disclosed her past experiences working as a star in the porn industry for several years and how she struggled for seven years with addiction to various drugs, including cocaine and Adderall, Xanax and Oxycodone.
But, she became a Christian after the word of God spoke to her amid struggles. She has since been delivered from the industry and from addiction.
Now, as a Christian, Brittni De La Mora said every believer should make a habit of accepting God’s grace and forgiving themselves for their faults. She said Christians should realize that they can “learn” more when facing adversity and encountering struggles.
“When everything isn’t perfect, lessons can be learned,” she said.
“Every time that I’ve made a mistake as a Christian, I learned to embrace it because there’s a really good lesson to be learned,” she continued, admitting there were times that she has been overly critical and gotten “overly emotional” when she has sinned.
“I would sit there and I would beat myself up about it, [saying] ‘who am I to preach the Gospel?’ I just lost my cool on my husband or I was just so tempted to want to give the finger to the person who cut me off.”
She reasoned, however, that no one, except Jesus, is perfect and makes mistakes, including biblical figures.
“But yet God would still use them,” she said. “God still loves us. He doesn’t hold that against us.”
Richard De La Mora agreed that if Christians aren’t careful, the devil will succeed at making them feel as though they are condemned and that they can never overcome their struggles.
“Satan tries to abuse you so he can confuse you,” he said.
He referred to John 10:10, saying, “the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy.”
“Satan [can] confuse you with the statements: ‘God doesn’t love you. God’s not going to forgive you. Look at you. You made a mistake. Come on. You’re done,’” he added. “The reality is: Satan is done, but you’re not.”
The De La Moras said that some believers find it increasingly difficult to overcome their sins because they spend too much time letting their mistakes define who they are.
“I used to struggle with this a lot because when I made a mistake, I would sit there and think about it and allow it to get the best of me,” Richard De La Mora admitted.
As a pastor, Richard De La Mora said he recalls a time when he doubted his preaching abilities after his uncle had told him his “message is never as good as you think it was, and it’s never as bad as you think it was.”
Richard De La Mora said he would preach a sermon to an audience, and even when he was told by nearly 100 people that his words were a blessing, he would still struggle with feeling that he made mistakes.
As a result, he encountered persistent feelings of regret and overthinking what he could have said or done differently while preaching.
Richard De La Mora said it wasn’t until he “received God’s grace and mercy” that he experienced freedom from overthinking.
“I just had to learn to give myself some grace and stop being so hard on myself,” Richard De La Mora recounted to listeners. “Sometimes, we are so hard on ourselves when we make mistakes.”
“Maybe you’ve fallen short and you’ve watched porn, or maybe you’ve fallen short and you asked somebody out, or maybe you’ve sinned in another area in your life and now you’ve allowed one mistake to get the best of you,” he said. “If we’re not careful, we can allow those lies or that mistake to shape our lives. But, I want to tell you today that God can use your mistakes and turn it into a message.”
When Christians sit in their condemnation, guilt and shame, Brittni De La Mora said it will not “produce what God wants to produce in them.”
“It’s through our trials and tribulations that we develop perseverance in our faith; we develop strength in our spirit,” she said. “Maybe you’ve drunk too many glasses of wine the last few days, and you’re like, ‘I’m a horrible Christian and I’ve been drunk. I’ve been yelling at my children and yelling at my family.’ Let me tell you something, that’s an opportunity for you to grow stronger.”
Even though Christians might face the consequences for their sinful behaviors, they can still find freedom, she assured.
“Maybe you cut someone off, or you’ve been telling some lies, or you cheated on your spouse,” Brittni De La Mora added. “There’s some real heavy issues some of us are going through. … We have to deal with some of the repercussions of our sin, but there’s still hope. There’s still a new life in Jesus.”
“Sometimes, we can accept somebody else’s mistakes, but we just can’t accept our own mistakes,” Richard De La Mora concluded. “And that’s why I think it’s so crucial that we cast down those thoughts on an everyday basis by saying: ‘I’m not my mistake. But I’m going to use this and allow this to help me to be better, to be more mature and to grow in Christ.’”
Citing Romans 8:1, the couple assured that “there is no condemnation for those who are followers of Jesus Christ.”
