Ex-porn star says singles pursuing sexual purity need to have a 'vision'
Christians seeking to live a life of purity should have a vision for their spiritual walk, according to former porn star Brittni De La Mora and her pastor-husband Richard De La Mora.
In an episode of their "Let's Talk Purity" podcast from earlier this month, the two addressed the issue of Christian singles who are struggling to avoid sex and masturbation while being alone.
Richard noted that, when he was single and alone, he "had to lean fully on Jesus" to combat the feelings of being tempted to engage in premarital sex.
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“And that was me being in the Word every day, me praying every day, me worshiping and really being full of Him. Because the emotions and ... your body and you're just ... feeling some type of way. I had to make sure that I was full of Jesus,” he said.
The pastor said that "what really changed my life" was “a book that talked about your vision" in which the author talked about how "if you want to walk a life of sexual purity, write down a vision, write down what you're fighting for and make sure that your decisions reflect your vision."
“I made sure that my decisions reflected my vision," Richard added. "What was I fighting for? I wrote down, ‘Well, I want to be sexually pure. I want to honor my body so I can honor God, and then I go honor my future wife.’ And I wanted to make sure they got a clean testimony.”
In the lonely moments when Christians feel tempted, they should think about Jesus to avoid giving into any temptations, he advised.
“How many times do you have it? You're by yourself, you're lonely, you're a little horny and you're like; ‘OK, what's going on here?’ Those were moments where you just have to sit and really reflect on the goodness of the Lord,” Richard explained.
"And you have to remember the things that you're fighting for. Those are key moments for me to really be able to help me in those times, because those times are real, and those times are not easy.”
Brittni agreed that having a vision-oriented mindset is similar to setting a goal for your body, comparing it to dieting while also handling the temptation to eat a dessert.
“There's a lovely piece of cake that's being offered or some pizza or whatever. Your food temptation may be at a potluck. But you're like, ‘No, I have a vision. … I've been hitting the gym every week. I am not going to eat that cake. I'm not going to eat that pizza,’” Brittni said.
“It's kind of the same thing. When you have a vision for what you want your spiritual walk to look like, and that vision is at the forefront of your mind, you can say, ‘No. Sleeping with that woman, sleeping with that man is not worth it. It's not going to bring me any closer to my vision.'"
To buttress their argument, Brittni quoted Proverbs 29:18 which says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish," adding that "masturbating, watching pornography in secret" is "not going to bring me closer to my vision."
"And so, it's very important that you have a vision for your life, man of God, woman of God. What do you want to do with your calling?” she posited.
When she was still single and seeking to be pure, Brittni credited an "awesome roommate" for helping her to live "a life that honored God," by showing the value of exercise as a way to avoid temptation.
"She would go run like 13 miles a day. I'm like, 'How do you do this?' Because she was living a life that honored God. And she was single for many years and was not having sex. And so, she would go for runs. And so, she taught me the power of just exercising,” she said.
“That's actually when I started going to the gym. And I would go for walks every morning because it releases those endorphins. It just kind of helps you feel good about life."
Since humans are not perfect, the De La Moras said, if a single Christian falls into sexual sin, they should repent and continue to persevere for God by not giving up on their faith.
“Your walk with God, like purity, it's about your heart. And so, say there's a time your heart is like, ‘Hey, I want to pursue this. I want to do this.’ And maybe you slipped last week or you slipped last night. And you're like, ‘Man, I needed this message because I just messed up.’ I love Proverbs where it teaches us ‘the righteous fall seven times, they get back up again,’” Brittni said.
“I just want to remind you that if maybe you have fallen. You've watched porn and you've really been trying not to, but you just slipped and you did. Maybe you masturbated or you did some things that you maybe shouldn't have done or wish that you wouldn't have done. I want you to really try to extend yourself grace,” she said, adding that it's important to remember that “it's really about the posture of your heart. God knows that you didn't want to fall, but He also knows that none of us are perfect.”
Nicole Alcindor is a reporter for The Christian Post. She can be reached at: [email protected].
