'Premarital Sex Is a Big Rip-off' Author: Porn Addiction Highest Ever Among Women, Including Married and Virgins
Young women are battling with pornography now more than ever, many of whom are married or girls who are still virgins, says Christian author and blogger Shellie R. Warren.
Warren, who is also a marriage counselor and leader of an online ministry for young women, says many of them watch for numerous reasons including to have a sexual release or as a "tip guide." Regardless, she notes that this is a growing problem that cannot be ignored.
"There's one more category: those who are battling with porn not because they watch it but because they are making it," Warren wrote in a blog post for XXX Church. "Personally, I'm willing to bet good money that there are a lot more than that doing sexting and honestly, although there are many teenage boys who foolishly take pictures or videos of sex acts, there aren't a lot of them sending nude and seminude stuff about themselves. That's the girls' department."
Get Our Latest News for FREE
According to a Pew Research Center report, only eight percent of American women watch porn but that low figure may indicate a reluctance to report the behavior by some.
Warren says many girls who become regular porn watchers need support to leave their habit behind and notes that it begins with parents facilitating open discussions.
"Proverbs 22:6 instructs parents to train their children in the way that they should go. In order to assist them in heading in the right direction, you need to know what path they're currently on. That comes by asking them," said Warren.
She notes that the sex culture has changed throughout the decades and although it might be uncomfortable to have the discussion, she says it is necessary as "there's no telling what's going on in your daughter's room when she walks in and closes the door."
But she cautions parents not to "freak out" when approaching their daughter because the goal is to have her be listened to, not judged.
"Pretty much every good parent wants to believe their child will be exposed to sex for the first time on their wedding night. However, Ecclesiastes 7:18 (Message Bible Version) says that it's a good idea to deal with reality," said Warren. "And the reality is that while virginity and purity is ideal, you have to accept that they may have already seen way more than you're ready to handle."
She adds, "This means you'll listen, sympathize, and empathize if you can relate to some of what she's going through and a lot of you can because you remember what it was like to feel sexual pressure at her age."
Furthermore, she advises parents to offer their support by discussing God's plan for sex within the context of marriage in detail.
"She needs to know that she was specifically made for a special someone someday. She needs to know that porn is not a way to prepare her for sex, but a way to alter her perception of such a beautiful act – one that you fully support her experiencing at the right time and place," said Warren.
But above all, she notes that pornography and sexual brokenness needs to be dealt with in a spiritual way.
"Christ himself said in Matthew 17:20-21 that some things only come by prayer and fasting," said Warren. "Whether your daughter is watching porn or sending nude pictures, a couple of conversations are not going to break that kind of stronghold. Pray for her and if led, fast on her behalf as well."
Warren is the author of Purity's Big Payoff / Premarital Sex is a Big Rip-off and Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption.
